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Effective Communication

The deepest kind of intimacy develops when one partner shares something he or she feels vulnerable about, and the other partner responds in a positive and accepting manner.


When we feel heard and understood, we become more receptive to hearing and understanding.

Assertive Communication(Developing Positive Assertiveness)

Developing assertiveness is more than just learning to talk differently. Being assertive requires THINKING assertively, FEELING confident, and BEHAVING positively.

In this class/workshop, you will:

  • Learn how to communicate more directly, honestly and respectfully while interacting with others.
  • Learn to reduce conflicts, failures, dissatisfaction and stresses.
  • Learn to become more assertive more of the time.
  • Recommended for all couples who want to take charge and live life.

The Assertive Communication Class/Workshop is a four (4) week commitment.


Class/Workshop Fees: $100.00 per participant plus cost of materials.


Call for class/workshop schedule and specific dates/times. 

Couple's Dialogue

Speaker-Listener Technique

(Talking Safely Without Fighting)

Every couple has to have a safe way to talk about everyday disagreements and the deeper, more sensitive issues. Talking safely about sensitive, deeper issues promotes those feelings of intimacy that comes from knowing you can share who you are and be accepted by your partner.

In this class/workshop, you will:

  • Learn to talk safely, not only about conflicts but about any sensitive topic.
  • Learn to reach mutual understanding and agreement in your relationship.
  • Recommended for all couples who want to take charge and live life.

The Couple's Dialogue/Speaker-Listener Technique Class/Workshop is a four (4) week commitment.


Class/Workshop Fees: $100.00 per participant plus cost of materials.


Call for class/workshop schedule and specific dates/times.

 How Assertive Are You? Take the quiz...

Answer the questions below to help you gain some insights about your current level of assertiveness.


Assign a number to each item using this scale: 

ALWAYS                            NEVER

5         4         3          2        1

  1. I ask others to do things without feeling guilty or anxious.
  2. When someone asks me to do something I don't want to do, I say "no" without feeling guilty or anxious.
  3. I am comfortable when speaking to a large group of people.
  4. I confidently express my honest opinions to authority figures.
  5. When I experience powerful feelings (anger, disappointment, etc.), I verbalize them easily.
  6. When I express anger, I do so without blaming others for "making me mad."
  7. I am comfortable speaking up in a group situation.
  8. If I disagree with the majority opinion in a meeting, I can "stick to my guns" without feeling uncomfortable or being abrasive.
  9. When I make a mistake, I will acknowledge it.
  10. I tell others when their behavior creates a problem for me.
  11. Meeting new people in social situations is something I do with ease and comfort.
  12. When discussing my beliefs, I do so without labeling the opinions of others as "crazy", "stupid", "ridiculous", "irrational."
  13. I assume that most people are competent and trustworthy and do not have difficulty delegating tasks to others.
  14. When considering doing something I have never done, I feel confident I can learn to do it.
  15. I believe my needs are as important as those of others and I am entitled to have my needs satisfied.

TOTAL YOUR SCORE: ________

If your total score is 60 or higher, you have a consistently assertive philosophy and probably handle most situations well. You may receive some ideas from the Assertive Communication Class/Workshop to further improve your skills and effectiveness.


If your total is 45-60, you have a fairly assertive outlook. There are some situations in which you may be naturally assertive. The Assertive Communication Class/Workshop will help you to increase your assertiveness through practice.


If your total is 30-45, you seem to be assertive in some situations but your natural response is either nonassertive or aggressive. The Assertive Communication Class/Workshop will help you change some perceptions and practicing new behaviors should allow you to handle things much more assertively in the future.


If your total is 15-30, you have considerable difficulty being assertive. The Assertive Communication Class/Workshop is a "must do" for you. 

To schedule an appointment

or for more information about

Relationship Counseling & Individual Therapy Hawaii, please contact

Renee Rokero at (808) 282-9045.